Many times, when God disappoints me, I begin to doubt his love and his faithfulness. But it is in those moments where I have needed to trust Him the most.
Mental health specialists define disappointment as a painful emotion that awakens in a person when an expectation built is not met, generally around the behavior of another person or concerning some event. In this way, disappointment always occurs after expecting something specific and placing hope in it, but such expectation is not fulfilled or is done differently.
Has it ever happened to you? For a birthday or Christmas, when you were younger (or not so little) you wanted a specific gift and you made sure your parents knew what it was. With very direct hints of course, because at the end of the day, you wanted it to remain a “surprise”.
Maybe they gave you that gift many times, but surely there were a couple of times when they didn't. And although in your mind you knew that it was not “their obligation” to fulfill that desire of your heart, you couldn't help but feel that ugly thorn of disappointment.
Well, friend, I would like to tell you that with God everything that you ask for will be fulfilled, since in general that is the concept we have of that good father that they tell us so much about. We think that if God is a good father, he will give us everything we ask for.
But the truth is that there are times in your life when that “gift” that you long for, and that you have asked for, may not arrive. And then, that feeling of disappointment floods your thoughts and you begin to feel like God failed you...
How is it possible, if God is so good? Why, if I believed him for that? Isn't God never supposed to fail? If I had been a good person and obedient to him, why didn't he comply?
These are questions that I have asked myself many times.
Our disappointment in the hands of God
In 1 Peter 1:7 (ESV) we find the following about faith: “Such difficulties will be a great test of his faith, and can be compared to the fire that tests the purity of gold. But your faith is more valuable than gold because gold does not last forever. On the other hand, the faith that passes the test will give praise, glory, and honor to Jesus Christ when he returns.”
In this life we will experience difficulties that will come in the form of disappointment, it is impossible to avoid them, but disappointment in the hands of God can transform us. Molding our hearts involves molding our faith, and disappointment is often the sifter that God will use to refine it, purify it, and give it the shape He wants it to have.
Can you imagine the disappointment in Abraham's heart when the son that God gave him and promised to have offspring had to be sacrificed by himself? (Genesis 22:1-2)
Not to think about what Jairus could have felt when he believed in his daughter's healing, and on the way to his house, due to a “delay caused by Jesus”, his daughter died! All because Jesus started doing “other things”! He must have felt that He failed him (Mark 5:21-43).
But do you know what I see in common between Abraham and Jairus? There was a point where they went to the next level, they went from “believing” in God to TRUSTING in Him, despite the circumstances. Sometimes trust is tested when you experience confusion.
Abraham did not understand why he had to sacrifice his son, but he trusted that God knew what he was doing, and if Isaac died, He had the power to raise him from the dead.
Confidence is also tested when you face disappointment. Jesus saw the disappointment and pain in Jairus's eyes and staring at him he said these words that must have hit his broken heart hard: “Do not fear, only believe” (Mark 5:36).
Jairus went from believing that Jesus could heal his daughter, to trusting that despite the terrible situation, Jesus could still do something. It was faith + trust that led him to experience, not a healing, but a resurrection.
When God lets me down, that's when I cling to Him the most
Dear friend, today I want to bring revelation to your life and tell you NO! God never fails... But through your disappointment, your faith can be sifted, and purified. God is widening your heart, and your trust in Him.
A proven faith recognizes the sovereignty of God, submits to it to overcome disappointment, and believes again for something more, not only for yourself but for others as well.
But truly I tell you, I am not writing to you from a position different than disappointment. For months I prayed, I fasted, I believed out of a desire of my heart and I became so sure that God would say YES, that I even made plans.
I talked about it with many people, I visualized myself with that dream fulfilled and when the day came to see it come true what I received was a resounding “no”. I refused to accept it and the opportunity arose to try again, this time everything really indicated that it would be achieved.
I even thought I had received divine confirmation that it would be so. But after months, what do you think? Again a strong NO.
I began to think that God had mocked my faith, I came to doubt whether or not I heard the voice of God, and for a time there was silence in my heart.
But over time I came to understand that yes, I did experience a strong disappointment, but I decided that this season in my life would not deform my heart, but that the fire of the trial would be used by God to purify my faith and my trust in Him.
Today I continue with that “no” in my life, but with the certainty that God loves me, that He knows what He is doing, and with the evidence that my faith and my trust in Him have been expanded. I submit to his sovereignty and have my heart ready to believe with all my strength for something more.
What are you going to decide? If you allow me to give you some advice, don't stay stuck in disappointment thinking that God failed you or that you didn't have enough faith to see something come true.
Hold tight to what God tells you today, your faith is being purified, your confidence is being expanded. He is molding your heart (as long as you allow Him to) so that when you step out of this season you can bear witness to His infinite love but also to his sovereignty in your life.
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